Going-Rogue.blog

I will be the first to admit that I jumped on the social media bandwagon almost immediately after its inception. Currently, I have profiles/pages on almost all of the mainstream social media sites: Facebook, Instagram, X, Threads, Snapchat, TikTok, and LinkedIn. I was enchanted by the idea of the many social connections that were promised in the slick media-produced marketing campaigns. However, upon reflection, I have come to realize that social media is anything but social.

One definition of the word social presents the concept that it relates to companionship. Unfortunately, it seems as if social media has driven a wedge between many people, the exact opposite of its original intent. Don’t get me wrong, social media has indeed fostered companionship for many. However, in my experience, social media has created strife and conflict in the lives of many friends and family members.

I will admit that I am guilty of adding to that strife and conflict. It is only in moments of tremendous hurt and agony have I allowed myself to succumb to the negative desire of posting hurtful material on social media. In the past, I have given in to the gremlin who once sat on my shoulder and whispered, “Go ahead and post that nasty comment. You need to post that hurtful quote. Doing so will make you feel better. ” Ultimately, doing so made me feel anything but better. Doing so made me feel despondent and only caused me to sink further into my despair.

Oftentimes we think that by posting something negative, the other person will see that particular post and feel sorrow or remorse for what he or she might have done or said in the past. Most likely this is not the case. Said individual is probably ensnared in his or her own life and does not think about the problems, worries, or concerns of others.

So what can you do to combat that need to post something hurtful or hateful? I don’t have the answer, but I can tell you what I would have done in a situation like this.

1. Admit that there is an issue between you and this particular person.
2. Acknowledge the feelings that accompany the issue.
3. Write down what you want to do.
4. Do the EXACT opposite.

Do all of these steps have to be completed on social media for all the world to see? No. However, it is my belief that number four needs to be made public. My suggestion is not to use any names in your post. The person to whom you are referring will know that post is meant for him or her.

In the years since I created my first social media account, I have traveled from one end of the spectrum to the other. I have used specific names, even tagged specific people, asked friends to post comments for me, recruited friends to contact this particular person, and so much more. Needless to say I am not proud of my behavior. I would like to believe I am a changed woman. Yet, every now and then, that little gremlin creeps into my ear and whispers, “Post something hurtful, something inappropriate or nasty, something that will make that person hurt just like you are hurting right now.” It takes every fiber of my being to ignore that mean little gremlin and do the exact opposite. But once I do manage to gather the willpower to perform that feat of kindness, my body hums with strength, resilience, power, determination, and so much more. Those feelings should be nurtured, and, once they grow strong, it will be all the harder for that mean little gremlin to attempt to take control of your psyche.